US Rep. Anthony Weiner may have taken it to an extreme. But the online flirtations and provocative photos that got him into so much trouble are far from unusual among adults these days, experts say.
What with Facebook friends, Twitter followers and Skype video chats, it is now all too easy to flirt with strangers and engage in sexual fantasy without (technically) breaking a marriage vow.
Digital dalliance has entered the mainstream.
For instance, sexting鈥攕ending sexually suggestive text messages or photos, as Weiner did鈥攊s usually thought of as a teenage pastime.
But according to a report from the Pew Research Center鈥檚 Internet and American Life Project based on a representative sample of 2,252 adults, sexting is far more common among people aged 18 to 29.
Nearly one-third of that group say they have received sexually suggestive or nude photos of someone they know, and 13 percent say they have sent them, according to the report.
Even among 30-to-49-year-olds, 17 percent say they have received such photos and 5 percent admit sending them. Similar Pew research finds that the comparable figures among adolescents are 15 percent and 4 percent.
鈥淕iven the alchemy of sex and lust and love and technology, it鈥檚 not that surprising that the numbers are where they are,鈥� said Amanda Lenhart, a senior research specialist at Pew.
鈥淎necdotally, those of us who know single younger adults know people who do this,鈥� Lenhart added.
Nancy Baym, a University of Kansas professor of communication studies and author of the new book 鈥淧ersonal Connections in the Digital Age,鈥� agreed.
鈥淚 think we tend to blame teenagers for behaviors that we鈥檙e quite guilty of ourselves,鈥� Baym said. 鈥淕rown-ups are certainly capable of doing really stupid stuff online.鈥�
New rules of romance
The data reflect the new rules of digital romance, in which flirtatious texts have replaced phone calls, and websites like Facebook have replaced high school reunions as a way to reconnect with an old flame.
鈥淲e use new technologies in romantic relationships all the time,鈥� Baym said. 鈥淲hen two people meet and they鈥檙e interested in developing the relationship, they go to text messages really fast as a way to safely negotiate the relationship.鈥�
Therapists debate whether the Internet has facilitated more infidelity鈥攁fter all, men and women have been betraying their vows since marriage began.
Still, slight shifts in infidelity rates among young people and women suggest that digital media may be playing a role.
Anecdotally, therapists report that electronic contact via Facebook, e-mail and text messages has allowed women in particular to form more intimate relationships.
鈥淭here鈥檚 no question that the Internet has increased the availability of alternative romantic partners, whether it鈥檚 flirtation, reuniting with old lovers or having texting sexual relationships,鈥� Baym said.
鈥淭he Internet dramatically expands the scope of potential people that we can meet,鈥� she said.
Digital trail
But while online communication may make it easier to cheat, it also leaves a digital trail that makes it more likely you鈥檒l be caught.
鈥淚 don鈥檛 think the Internet is increasing transgressions, but it鈥檚 leaving a trail that is very accessible,鈥� said Lois Braverman, president of the Ackerman Institute for the Family.
鈥淚n the 19th century there were letters; in the 1960s and 鈥�70s there might be private detective photos or credit card receipts. What鈥檚 different is that back then a transgression might have been discovered, but it didn鈥檛 go viral.鈥�
Some researchers believe that the widespread availability of pornography via the Internet has also led to an insidious change in attitudes about sex.
One study found that more than a third of Americans had visited an online porn site at least once a month, according to a 2009 report in The Journal of Economic Perspectives.
The study analyzed subscriptions to one major provider of adult entertainment, finding a relatively even distribution of subscriptions across the country.
鈥淏y all indications it鈥檚 pretty common,鈥� said the author of the paper, Benjamin Edelman, an assistant professor at the Harvard Business School.
鈥淛ust about anywhere you look, people are subscribing to online adult entertainment. It鈥檚 something people do in every state, every county.鈥�
Within online norms
Tom Hymes, a senior editor at AVN Media Network, a trade publication that follows the adult entertainment industry, said online sexual behavior had been part of the mainstream for years.
鈥淢y perspective is that Rep. Weiner was behaving well within certain online norms, as far as what we see happening on a regular basis,鈥� Hymes said in an e-mail.
鈥淏ut his huge mistake was thinking he could maintain his anonymity (if indeed he did) when he seemed to be doing everything he could to use his prestige as a congressman in his online flirtations.鈥�
Erick Janssen, a senior scientist at the Kinsey Institute, said more study was needed to learn how the Internet and digital media are shaping adult behavior and relationships.
鈥淧eople who engage in behaviors like erotic chats, seduction, exhibition, it鈥檚 probably indeed very widespread,鈥� he said.
鈥淭hat the behaviors are there is hard to dispute. To connect that information with people鈥檚 relationship status, their values, what their partner might think of it鈥攖hat sort of thing we don鈥檛 know a whole lot about.鈥� New York Times 黑料社 Service