An aerial view taken on May 3, 2022 the destroyed Hotel Ukraine in the northern Ukrainian city of Chernigiv, amid the Russian invasion of Ukraine. AFP
CHERNIGIV,听鲍办谤补颈苍别鈥�Ukrainian literature teacher Tetyana Sobistiyanska has not washed since March 15.
She remembers the date because that is when Russian mortar fire blew a hole through her apartment on a central street in the battered north Ukrainian city of Chernigiv.
But Sobistiyanska is taking out her boiling anger for her plight on both the Ukrainians and the Russians in the third month of the war.
The 51-year-old still lives in one of the nine-story tower鈥檚 hallways and sleeps on its debris-strewn floor.
There is no power or water in any of her Soviet-era building鈥檚 171 flats.
Sobistiyanska and two of her neighbours sip cold tea off a kitchen table that takes up half the corridor鈥檚 width in the dark.
The wind shoots thick dust through the wall punctures and leaves everyone shivering in their winter coats and wool hats.
She says local officials have ordered her to move out but offered no assistance other than the locations of area shelters.
鈥淲hy did they fight to defend me, only to leave me here to die?鈥� she says, referring to Ukrainian forces who managed to keep the Russians from seizing the city of nearly 300,000.
鈥淭he grandmother on the fourth floor locked herself up when the bombs fell. When we forced the door open, she was already dead,鈥� Sobistiyanska said.
鈥淚 think this winter, the same fate awaits me.鈥�
Difficult choice
The outgunned Ukrainian forces鈥� ability to defend Chernigiv 鈥� a riverside city 100 kilometres (60 miles) northeast of Kyiv famous for its brand of beer 鈥� played a huge role in stalling Russia鈥檚 assault on the capital in the first weeks of the war.
Russian troops bombed and shelled the tower blocks dotting Chernigiv for more than a month.
The Russian withdrawal in the first days of April left behind a hollow shell of a city that now forms part of a broader conundrum for Ukraine鈥檚 Western-backed leadership.
Ukraine will need foreign aid of historic proportions to try and dig out from the ruins 鈥� should it ultimately withstand the Russian assault.
This recovery could require some tough choices. One of them might be whether places such as Chernigiv are worth saving at all.
The historic city and its ancient churches overlooking the Desna River began to lose its importance and shrivel when its inland port shut down after the Soviet Union鈥檚 collapse.
The much more recent closure of the border with Kremlin ally Belarus 50 kilometres (30 miles) to the north means the main road running through the city from Kyiv now leads to a dead end.
Sobistiyanska鈥檚 neighbor Tetyana Stanivaya says she still finds Chernigiv 鈥渧ery beautiful鈥� and would love to stay.
鈥淏ut I think that 70 percent of it has been damaged. I have no idea how much it would cost to rebuild it all,鈥� the 44-year-old grocer said.
鈥淭hey will start by repairing the schools. As for the residential homes鈥� That will take a lot of people and time. Some have simply burned to the ground.鈥�
鈥楻eturning to nothing鈥�
The city now comprises a patchwork of ruins and buildings left completely untouched by war.
The central five-story Ukraine Hotel was almost entirely flattened by aerial bombs.
Rows of whole buildings around it have functioning shops with few clients and the barest minimum of goods.
One young father was pushing his son on a scooter past the skeletal remains of a warehouse.
City workers were mowing the lawn of a green patch in the middle of a roundabout that was surrounded by barricades and buildings with their walls scarred by shells.
鈥淢ost people have already left the city,鈥� Stanivaya said while showing off the remains of some of the abandoned apartments in her tower block.
鈥淎nd the ones who are returning, when they see what has happened, I don鈥檛 even know,鈥� she sighed. 鈥淭hey are returning to nothing.鈥�
Goodwill
But 20 people still live in the seriously damaged apartment building.
The ones who left mostly settled with friends and relatives in surrounding villages or joined the exodus fleeing to the more peaceful west of the country and Poland.
The ones who stayed behind depend on the goodwill of neighbours whose buildings still have running water and gas.
Construction worker Daniil Danchenko said his courtyard neighbours were intially happy to let him charge his phone or fill buckets of water that he could then lug up the stairs to his fourth-floor flat.
鈥淏ut they have started moving on with their lives,鈥� the 44-year-old said. 鈥淭hey have their own problems.鈥�
He now spends sunny days on the bench to keep warm.
鈥淭his is where I was born, this is where I was planning to spend my life. But for that, I need a place to live,鈥� he said.
RELATED STORIES
In eastern Ukraine, a funeral shop becomes a place of refuge
Putin tells Macron West must stop supplying weapons to Ukraine
Ukrainians decry 鈥榮uffering鈥� in Russian-controlled areas
Slovakia to repair damaged Ukrainian military equipment