HOME SWEET HOME | Former Sen. Leila de Lima took time to visit her ancestral residence in Barangay San Agustin, Iriga City, Camarines Sur province. (Photo by MARK ALVIC ESPLANA / Inquirer Southern Luzon)
IRIGA CITY, Camarines Sur, Philippines 鈥� Savoring her regained freedom with a visit to her ancestral home here, former Sen. Leila de Lima looked back at her almost seven-year detention at Camp Crame in Quezon City as both a 鈥渢ragic and fulfilling鈥� experience.
鈥淏elieve it or not, it鈥檚 a curse because I don鈥檛 deserve to be jailed for something I didn鈥檛 do and go through the ordeal, but I [also] considered it as a blessing because there have also been changes in my life [and] my outlook,鈥� De Lima told the Inquirer in an interview on Friday at her residence in Barangay San Agustin.
While the years at Crame were long and painful, she considered them 鈥減urifying鈥� as they gave 鈥渁ll the time to do personal reflection.鈥�
鈥淲hat I did wrong, what I missed, what I鈥檝e been missing, especially my family and friends. I know that all of us as human beings, we have strengths and our own weaknesses and there are things that we did in the past that we are sorry about. But we at the same time have achievements and successes in life,鈥� she added.
Those years provided enough time to 鈥渞eminisce about things鈥� and tell herself there could be redemption in the face of the massive demolition job that was done against her.
搁贰础顿:听Timeline: The ordeal of Leila de Lima
Hardest part
De Lima, one of the staunchest critics of then-President Rodrigo Duterte鈥檚 鈥渂loody鈥� war on illegal drugs, had been acquitted of two out of the three drug charges filed against her, which all stemmed from Duterte鈥檚 allegations that she received payoffs from convicted drug traffickers when she served as justice secretary between 2010 and 2015.
She was also accused of using this drug money to fund her 2016 senatorial bid.
On Monday, the Muntinlupa Regional Trial Court (RTC) Branch 206 allowed De Lima to post a P300,000 bail in the third and last drug case.
鈥淭he hardest part is not being able to be with the family. Most of the time [before her detention] 鈥� I鈥檇 been very busy as a professional but certainly I tried to find [time] to be with them. But while in detention, I didn鈥檛 have that privilege. I didn鈥檛 have that pleasure. I didn鈥檛 have the right,鈥� De Lima said. 鈥淚t鈥檚 supposed to be [my] right to be with them but that was deprived of me.鈥�
At night, inside her cell, she felt particularly helpless whenever news would come of loved ones and friends passing away.
It pained her as well to miss being with family members in marking personal milestones.
鈥淚t was also painful when my son graduated and my request to attend his graduation was denied,鈥� she said.
In 2018, the Muntinlupa City RTC Branch 205 rejected De Lima鈥檚 request to attend the graduation of her son Vincent Joshua Bohol from San Beda College of Law in June. Presiding Judge Amelia Fabros-Corpuz said no, saying the senator should not be treated differently from other detainees.
搁贰础顿:听Timeline: Leila de Lima鈥檚 legal battle
What she missed
De Lima said what she missed most while in detention was her work as an elected public official.
鈥淚 missed fulfilling my duties 鈥� fully discharging freely my functions and mandated duty then as elected senator of the Republic, especially the advocacies that we all know are built on my core advocacy which is human rights,鈥� she said.
Performing her duties as a senator was limited to articulating her thoughts through handwritten commentaries and dispatches. 鈥淚 wanted to interact with people and spread the reality of all the killing(s) under the [government鈥檚] war on drugs,鈥� she said.
De Lima was barred from attending the Senate sessions or committee hearings, even via videoconferencing. 鈥淚 wasn鈥檛 allowed to vote so I could simplify bills and resolutions. I had a mandate. I鈥檓 constitutionally presumed to be innocent because I was not a convicted prisoner and yet they refused to let me perform effectively my mandate,鈥� she stressed.
Routines
But despite the hardship, the 64-year-old remained thankful to her police guards and escorts at Camp Crame, saying they treated her well.
鈥淚 have no complaints. I was treated fairly with professionalism, with courtesy, with respect. No one has ever disrespected and maltreated me there,鈥� she recalled.
Life in detention made her develop a daily routine as a way of coping.
鈥淚 set the alarm and wake up at 4:30 in the morning. It became automatic. Maybe part of aging that you have shorter sleeping hours,鈥� she said.
De Lima prayed a lot, read the Bible, and wrote down whatever needed to be written.
鈥淢y communication to friends, birthday greetings and expressions of appreciation and letters of condolences whenever somebody dies, I write those even when it is still dark. And when the sun rises, I start with my physical chores. There was a time for regular and intermittent exercise (like walking) and cleaning the whole compound,鈥� she said.
鈥淣o TV for news viewing. It was only allowed for relaxation and my sched is every Saturday from 1 to 5 p.m.鈥�
Internet access and gadgets were thus a no-no.
鈥淎ll the tweets and dispatches are all handwritten and in order [for it] to be known to public, it is done by my staff,鈥� De Lima said.
鈥楧i mo nako bayaan鈥�
To fight off boredom and keep her sanity, she devoured books and listened to music.
And yes, Camp Crame鈥檚 resident cats added a great deal of emotional comfort.
鈥淚 felt sad when I left because they all became attached to me, especially during mealtime,鈥� she recalled, now holding back tears.
On the day De Lima was granted bail, the thought of again seeing her 91-year-old mother Norma excited her most.
鈥淚n 2019, I was allowed the furlough to visit while she was sick but our stay was short,鈥� she recalled.
When Norma learned she was finally home in Iriga, she was all smiles and told her in Bicolano: 鈥淒i mo nako bayaan (Don鈥檛 ever leave me again).鈥�
鈥榃hy should I stop?鈥�
鈥淚鈥檝e never lost faith. My hope never wavered, my faith never wavered, that someday I鈥檒l be free because I鈥檓 innocent and the truth will come out about my innocence,鈥� De Lima added.
She vowed to continue seeking justice for herself and for those who lost their lives in the Duterte drug war.
鈥淚 just can鈥檛 just stop especially now that I鈥檓 free because that has been my advocacy and that鈥檚 the very reason why they did it to me. So why should I stop?鈥欌��
She looks forward to resuming law practice or teaching 鈥渇or as long as my health permits it and for as long as I have guidance from the good Lord.鈥�
Lacking the necessary resources, a return to politics seems unlikely in the near future. 鈥淏ut I鈥檓 not ruling it out, (though) I can pursue advocacies even if I鈥檓 not in public service.鈥�