A few years ago, I came home one night from work, and our son Enzo followed me into the room, and out of the blue, volunteered to remove my socks. I was pleasantly surprised. Here was a boy, only 3 years old, eager to please his dad. The experience was exhilarating. As he slowly peeled the socks off my feet, I felt all the stress go away. Ah, this must have been how my father felt each time he asked me to remove his socks after work when I was still in grade school.
Since my wife Edlyn and I had Enzo in December 2012, after seven years of childless marriage, our lives have been turned upside down, happily.
Our 鈥榣ittle boss鈥�
We dance, sing and watch with him his favorite Captain 鈥淗oot鈥� in 鈥淛ake and the Neverland,鈥� 鈥淗igh Five鈥� and other shows on Disney Channel. (Since we had him, we couldn鈥檛 surf other channels unless he was in deep slumber. He was the 鈥渓ittle boss鈥� at home.)
Nowadays, we read to him stories for children at night and in the morning, and while he can鈥檛 read everything yet, (he鈥檚 just learned to spell and pronounce simple words), he can retell the stories the way we鈥檝e told it to him just by flipping through the pages. He turned 5 in July.
You see Enzo is not our biological child. We adopted him. But we love him like our own and he loves us like his own. It just came naturally.
Dancing in Obando
After marrying Edlyn in December 2005, I thought the baby would just pop out. I was wrong. When the baby didn鈥檛 come after a few years, we drove to Obando, Bulacan, and joined throngs of childless couples in a frenzy of 鈥渇ertility dancing鈥� from the church and back. (A priest-friend strongly recommended this, and even asked his mom to accompany us to Obando.) Oh yes, been there, done that. Still, there was no baby. Our OB-Gyne would later tell us that we have a medical condition that makes conceiving difficult. But we never lost hope; we prayed more.
In December 2011, I got to class early at Loyola School of Theology in Quezon City, where I took a master鈥檚 degree in pastoral ministry, and had a chat with a classmate鈥攁n Assumption sister鈥攁bout family.
On hearing that we鈥檙e childless, she made a proposition: 鈥淵ou鈥檙e not getting any younger. Why don鈥檛 you enjoy your last Christmas together as a couple, and adopt a child? By next Christmas, you鈥檒l have your own. Besides, adopting would psychologically open your wife鈥檚 womb.鈥�
Idea of adoption
That jolted me in a pleasant way, and told my wife about it. The idea of adoption had been there at the back of our minds, and after the chat with the nun, it bobbed up.
We shared this with two couple-friends from the same Catholic community, who were also childless, and we all decided to adopt the following year. And together we attended the orientation on adoption at the nongovernment organization Kaisahang Buhay Foundation in Cubao, Quezon City, in the summer of 2012.
Months after the adoption and submission of documents, my wife and I were 鈥渕atched鈥� with a boy who had聽 wavy hair, and melancholy eyes. He was put up for adoption by his single mother a few weeks after he was born.
The 鈥榚ntrustment鈥�
On the morning of Dec. 15 that year, two days shy of our seventh wedding anniversary, we drove to Hospicio de San Jose in Manila on an island in the middle of Pasig River to pick him up. He was a year and 4 months old.
He was dark鈥攖he sisters running the hospice (Daughters of Charity of St. Vincent de Paul) playfully called him 鈥渃hocolate鈥濃�攁nd surprisingly, skinny. Otherwise, he was very malambing (affectionate) and easily warmed up to us, allowing us to carry him alternately. It felt like we had him from birth and were just visiting the hospice that day together.
A priest celebrated a Mass for Enzo鈥檚 鈥渆ntrustment鈥� to us in a quaint chapel and many of the sisters joined us. It was a solemn, and emotional moment; we could hear sniffles from the staff who took care of and doted on him. Before we left, we were brought to Enzo鈥檚 room, and there we saw babies in their playpens, also waiting to be adopted.
From that day on, Enzo was our 鈥渃hocolate.鈥� By Christmas, our home was filled with his cooing, laughter and cries. The Assumption sister鈥檚 words proved prophetic.聽 But the next few days weren鈥檛 easy.
He鈥檇 wake up wailing in the middle of the night鈥攚e thought he was probably adjusting to his new environment鈥攁nd we鈥檇 spend the next hours hushing him until first light. This went on for some time.
Body warmth
There was a time I carried him during one of his fits of crying, and slept on the bed, with him lying on top of me. I later found some sort of an explanation in a Reader鈥檚 Digest story: He had the need for closeness; he wanted to feel the warmth of a person鈥檚 body. The fits of crying eventually stopped.
Otherwise, almost everything fell neatly into place. We scouted for a pediatrician to physically build him up, and found one at the Philippine Children鈥檚 Medical Center鈥攎y wife鈥檚 own pediatrician. Under her care, Enzo battled primary complex, pneumonia, allergic rhinitis鈥攈aving runny nose caused by pollen, dust, flake鈥攖o become the healthy boy that he is now.
聽鈥楳om and Dad鈥�
When he was more than 2 years old, we enrolled him at a daycare center inside the University of the Philippines campus in Diliman, Quezon City. That鈥檚 where he learned to speak; he came home one day, and started calling us, to our surprise, Mom and Dad鈥攚ords he probably picked up from his classmates鈥攅ven though early on we taught him to call us Tatay and Nanay (Filipino terms for father and mother). Mom and Dad are easier to say, so we let him call us that way.
Our families embraced Enzo as their own, too. We brought him home to Ilocos for two consecutive summers for a dip in the sea, and he loved it each time.
In the company of his cousins, we never sensed any uneasiness; in fact, they gravitated to, and doted on him probably because he was the newest 鈥渂aby鈥� in the family.聽 Our neighborhood in Quezon City was just as loving.
An elderly couple, Tito Qits and Tita Dolly, and their two children doted on Enzo. When he was 2 or 3, he often freely wandered into their house, across from ours. Soon after, he鈥檇 be out of their gate with his loot bags of marshmallows and jellies. I assumed they included his favorite snacks in their grocery list. Once, the couple bought him two pairs of jerseys for summer, at another time, their son came home from Europe with a chocolate bar for Enzo. They were like his second family.
Yet another couple, who live next to us, also let Enzo into their home so he could play in their garden that has a fishpond, in addition to aquariums in their porch. We used to have an aquarium at home, and one of the first few words he learned to utter, was 鈥渋sh.鈥� Last Christmas, their son gifted Enzo with a remote-controlled toy car.
Care givers
And then of course, there鈥檚 Lolo Narsing, a watch repairman who lives a house away from us, who hoards toys鈥攃ars, guns, stuffed toys, marbles鈥攆rom scavengers, just so he could give them to Enzo. A wonderful guy who feels happy seeing the smile on Enzo鈥檚 face.
We鈥檙e fortunate, too, to have baby-sitters Ate Tess and Ate Jenny, and Kuya Jojo, the school bus driver, who all treat Enzo like their own child and add to that loving, happy environment in which he is growing up.
We can鈥檛 forget the time our next-door neighbors, a young couple like us, who tossed a power cable from their room to our room just so we can switch on our electric fan for Enzo one humid summer night when we lost power by some freak accident. Enzo sleeps soundly at night secure in the love not only of his parents, but of our neighbors.